When my ex-husband demanded full custody, I feared his money and staged “perfect dad” image would sway our children and the judge’s decision. But when our daughter revealed what she’d overheard him planning for her and her little brother, the courtroom went silent.

I’m 35, and I just went through the most gut-wrenching custody hearing of my life. Two years ago, I discovered my husband Daniel’s affair.It was the classic story of spending way too many late nights at “work,” and me finding lipstick stains on his shirt that he swore were ketchup.I was in denial at first, especially because divorcing him meant giving up financial stability and starting from nothing.

But after months of this, I finally got the courage to leave with my kids, Emily, eight, and Jack, who was just five years old at the time.Starting over in a way smaller apartment felt like drowning. No one prepares you to be a single, working mother.

I had to begin my mornings at dawn to prepare lunches, get the kids ready for school, and get myself dressed for work.

I navigated serious morning traffic to drop them off and went to my office. I was running out the door at 5 p.m. on the dot to pick them up from their after-school activities.My evenings consisted of homework and getting them to bed.Meanwhile, my weekends and every other free day were filled with either a dentist visit, an overwhelming project, or even PTA meetings.

This was all on my dime, by the way, because we never discussed alimony or child support.

Daniel wasn’t completely absent during this time. We had shared custody. But he was only the “fun dad.”He would sweep in maybe one weekend a month with tickets to Disneyland, buy them whatever they wanted, and brag about being the “#BestDadEver” on Instagram.

By Sunday, Emily and Jack would be tired, cranky, and very reluctant to finish the homework they left behind on Friday.

Daniel would disappear for weeks until his next big outing with them. He didn’t care about their grades, health, or anything else that truly mattered. And he never offered to help with expenses.I told myself he was paying for gifts and trips. So that was enough for our new normal.And yet, a couple of months ago, he filed for full custody. The official papers arrived early one morning, and the claims in them boiled my blood.

Daniel’s lawyers were trying to paint me as “unstable,” “too emotional,” and “unable to provide the lifestyle the children deserved.”

He took pictures of my new apartment with all the thrifted furniture. He also took photos of me on Friday nights when I was a total mess, trying to get the kids ready for a weekend with their dad.

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